struggles

How to put into words what I have been going through.  Very hard.   I am 36 years old.   I have an issue with loyalty/respect/trust.  From work to home.   I expect certain things.  Maybe I have unrealistic expectations of people.   I feel like if you love and care about something, you are loyal to it.  You go to bat and defend and care for whatever it is.  I have never in the course of my life dealt with such manipulative and dishonest people.   It is tough having to always watch what you say.  Not even be yourself because instead of everyone working together and blessing each other, its cut throat and for what?  I miss the good old days where lines are clear.  You know where you stand.  People don't use you for what you can do for them.  They love you for you and want you a part of their lives.  I have learned to add bricks to my wall.     There is no peace.  I want peace SOOO bad.   I know its out there.  Why do I struggle so much to find it.

The boys are coming back from the infamous summer in MI.  Lets just say that there is no peace there at all.   They have obviously fallen into the disrespectful selfish life style as well.  No matter how hard Kevin and I have tried. 

I dont know what the world has come too.   I struggle to find a happy place in it.    Everyone besides Kevin I am close to does not live here.  Makes for additional struggles.  I miss my family and my Mom more that you can imagine.  Sarah/Linda/Natasha/J.  All live far away.    Finding peace is my goal lately, but finding is at arms length.  

God has a plan.  I just wish I could see it.

a litle bit of family

Kevin's brother and his new sweetheart Tiki came over for a BBQ with the kids.  After  a hard day of birthday partying...I think everyone just wanted to stay cool.    We actually took the sheets off the couch..HAHA

The boys love to torture Lilly

Bless her heart she does not have a prayer.   I got to sneak a pic of the Kelly and Tiki.

It was 5000 degrees outside and everyone was so hot.   I know you see my handsome hubby hiding in the corning.  I dont understand why he does not like to be photographed. Love him!

And of course for your viewing pleasure....Incase you forgot

Catch Up

It has been a while!  I have been so covered up in work and just watching it go by, I have not captured much of anything.  If I am lucky a nap.  I was blessed to get to take 2 days off and spend of of those with some friends.  I intended to blog my entire few days off.  Day one ended up being called into work for some crisis.   I have to work on separating the two.

 Having a day with the hubs was not to shabby either.

We had a good time just riding

Of course boys will be boys!

Its good to just get away

We also bought a new couch.   Please forgive the sheets, but remember we have a small horse that lives with us!  AND I was just trying to capture the size of the beast!.  We love it.  Pile up in that will you.

I am so excited about my real vacation I can not stand it!  August 7th BABY!